say what you mean mean what you say
by Star.Splattered.Sky
Summary: Team Seven and all their communication problems. Sakura just wants Sasuke to talk to her. Or, Sasuke wants Sakura to talk to him. They're having trouble figuring out which.
1. Chapter 1

AN: references! to community (cuz that totally unbangs that hooker) and 2am by anna nalick (feels like i'm naked in front of a crowd).

Yeah i haven't done anything in forever BUT i will finish all my ss month stuff from last year (cuz some shit went down and i sorta had to change my priorities). This'll be a two-shot i think. AND IS ANYONE ELSE EXCITED FOR FLIRTY SASUKE.

whatchasay?

Sakura can't pretend it's all normal. But Naruto is so happy! He's joyous and sunny like he's supposed to be and Sai's making an effort to be tolerable and Sasuke...

He's back. And he's trying. And the whole thing is just so pitiful it makes her want to laugh.

Sakura has never been a sadist or a masochist (violent? Yes. Self-loathing? You betcha) but the whole notion that Team Seven's going to be just like before is so ridiculously absurd, the stupidity warms the cockles of her heart. Besides, she doesn't want it to be like before. Before, she was so goddamn annoying and stupid she kinda wants to strangle herself.

There's a phrase that describes their situation; "oh, he apologized? That totally unbangs that hooker." Except, you know, for the whole banging hooker part. The point was that just because they apologized does not mean that she hadn't tried to kill Sasuke or seduce Naruto or that Sasuke totally did not try to kill Sakura or Naruto on numerous occasions. It doesn't mean it's okay just because she says it is.

(She's really good at lying now, though. She's so proud of this.)

They could be okay if they stopped bloody _lying_ to themselves and dealt with all the shit they've accumulated over the years. But nooo. Sakura has to pretend she trusts Sasuke. And doesn't tense whenever Naruto embraces her (which is often, now, and Sakura thinks she'll talk to him about personal space). Or that Sai is totally being stupid when he asks about her smile.

"Stop staring at my lips, then."

She snaps and the words are flying out of her mouth like a shuriken, deadly and sharp out of her hand. Naruto is staring at Sai and Sasuke is staring at her.

She thinks maybe she'll do something insane like sing a Carrie Underwood to turn it into some female-empowerment bullshit so they leave it alone.

"Ugly must be on her period."

Or leave Sai to screw himself over. Sometimes she just want to kiss him. But then he'll go on and on and Naruto will go on and on and Sasuke will just look at her not saying anything but eyes storming at her.

Naruto is blushing and spluttering. She wants to be blunt like Sai. Doesn't matter if it makes them uncomfortable. Just say what she's thinking-_feeling_ dammit!

So she raises an eyebrow.

"How do you figure?"

Naruto starts spluttering again. Sasuke won't stop looking at her. Something you want to say, hun?

"You seem extra cranky today."

"Well, I assure you, no endometrium's being shed in this uterus, babe."

Now Naruto's really choking, and Sasuke's trying to catch her eye. But she stares blankly at the ground, like she's practised ever since he came back.

"Babe? Are you with child?"

Okay, she totally set herself up for that. But she's really enjoying the reaction from Sasuke and Naruto.

"Yeah. No."

"Well, nobody would want to engage in coitus with you, so I guess you couldn't be pregnant."

Ouch. That stung in an odd way, a way that Sakura enjoyed and craved and thinks she could become addicted to if she wasn't careful.

"Tell that to your mom."

Yeah, that was bad. But for some unfathomable reason she wants to talk about weird things like contraceptive methods and menstrual cycles and masturbation and holy shamoly when did sweet little Sakura become such a perv.

Sai just cocks his head.

"I don't understand."

"Yeah, I don't either."

"What were we talking about?"

"How I can't get laid."

Naruto spluttering again and Sakura's thankful he's not piping in with his Sakura's the best! Comments, because with the topic they're on now it can't end well.

Either way, Kakashi is entering their hotel room, so Sai can't reply.

"Yo. Having fun?"

Naruto starts blushing again and Sasuke grunts. Sai smiles and Sakura doesn't look up.

"What was the conversation about today?"

He sits down with his porno at the end of Sakura's bed. She peeps over and sees he's reading a particularly steamy sex scene.

"How Ugly can't get laid."

Kakashi chuckles.

"Well, at least not like these characters," Sakura continues to read. "You can actually do that? Ino was convinced it was impossible, but as a doctor I can say it's _possible _but difficult considering the lack of control in that area during-"

Kakashi snaps his book shut.

"Is that what you girls talk about?"

Sakura grins, lying down so she can stare at the ceiling.

"Yeah. And Shika's cock."

Apparently Naruto thinks this is the time to stop this blasphemous conversation.

"YOU KNOW WE SHOULD TALK ABOUT FOOD. LIKE RAMEN. I LOVE RAMEN. DON'T YOU LOVE RAMEN? BECAUSE I DO. SAKURA, YOU LOOK PRETTY TODAY."

"And I don't everyday?"

"I-UH-YOU LOOK BEAUTIFUL ALWAYS. I JUST THOUGHT I'D TELL YOU...TODAY."

Sai tips his head. "Why is Naruto uncomfortable with talking about Shikamaru-kun's cock? Is he jealous?"

Sakura wants to kiss Sai again.

"Probably. Ino tells me-"

"KAKASHI-SENSEI. TEME. YOU SHOULD STOP THIS."

Kakashi mumbles something about when you stop calling me sensei, but Sasuke...

"Sakura."

"Yes, Sasuke-kun?"

"Stop."

"Stop what?"

She was not doing anything, especially when Sasuke wasn't saying anything.

Sure. He'd try with Kakashi and Naruto but with her? He treated her like some burden, some child, that was to be pacified and then ignored. Yet at the same time, he expected her to read his mind and know what he was trying to say!

Sakura knew that this team needed to get used to talking about things they were uncomfortable with.

"Look at me."

"Eye contact isn't the same as talking, Sasuke."

"I think that's enough, you two." Kakashi closes his book and sends a warning glance to the both of them. It sends Sasuke back to brooding but Sakura...she's so tired.

"Enough of what? We weren't saying _anything_!"

And because she has no idea what else to do (having everyone looking at her bothered her before, but now she feels like she's naked in front of a crowd), she storms out.

whatchasay?

AN: yeah mmkay that was...yeah. I REALLY LOVE REVIEWS THOUGH. OTHERWISE I HAVE A TENDENCY TO NOT UPDATE.


	2. Chapter 2

AN: yeah this isn't a humorous chapter. But i wanted to make sakura a little more dynamic rather than static, and i wanted to make a mature sasuke so i would't have to do as much development. There will be another chapter because i totally couldn't finish this in one. THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR THE REVIEWS. I LUURVE YOU ALL. But sorry because this isn't like the first one and you may not like it.

Sasuke is not 100% sure why he's following her out (then again, he's stopped being 100% sure about anything the day he saw his family's blood splattered over the walls like some piece of modern art). But he knows she, for some reason, is angry with him, and that he...cares. Sort of.

He knows he treats her differently. But in these situations, isn't that what he's supposed to do? He's not exactly courting her, but there's enough difference that he can't treat her the same as he does with Kakashi or Naruto. _She's _different. He supposes he's putting a lot of faith into her; putting meaning into his glances, his actions, choosing his words carefully. He expects her to read him, for all the things he's blatantly saying. But he can't help but have high faith in her. She's Sakura.

She's standing in the rain looking quite flustered, so he silently pulls her to a bench shielded by a slight roof. She looks small and nervous, and he half expects her to start stuttering like that girl who has a blatant thing for Naruto.

"I'm sorry."

She hangs her head as the words escape her breathlessly, and he lets her continue.

"I shouldn't have snapped at you. Or...done whatever I just did."

She looks a little embarrassed, cheeks dusted a rosy pink despite the cold. He figures it's because of the topics she shamelessly explored in the safety of their warm hotel room. He gives a quick nod before deciding she's not half wrong.

"Talking isn't the same as saying. Even saying...it's not necessarily communicating."

Her head shoots up and her eyes are narrowing at him. He keeps his calm and warm.

"What's that supposed to mean?" She's hissing now, like a cat, easily jumping on the defence and it makes Sasuke wonder what she's trying to protect.

"It means what it means." He shrugs, unfazed. He knows how Sakura is feeling; hurt, lost, confused, bitter and scared. He's got an idea why too, but at the same time he knows she's got to handle herself before she can let anyone in. Oh, he thinks, looking up at the sky, remembering his own breakdowns. How things have changed.

"Yeah? Well what does this mean!" She barks before dashing off. He can see her hands shaking from something more than the cold.

"You're right. We really aren't saying anything." He says it loud enough for her to hear, but she keeps walking and he thinks that they have a horrible history with benches.

He remembers that night. He remembers because he was so scared-of what, he wasn't too sure (but now he knows; he was scared of killing Itachi, because it's different dreaming of something and following through). But his seal was itching so bad it was driving him crazy. He was getting ready to leave when he felt himself panicking, the sensation vaguely familiar and frightening, forcing him to sit down and breathe for a whole hour before he could leave that dreaded house. Looking back, if he had gotten a grip on himself earlier, he probably wouldn't have bumped into her. Their encounter is a quick flash in his mind, not for lack of meaning, but because he knew analyzing the situation wouldn't create a better result. He doesn't particularly regret how he treated her that night, even though he would have chosen his actions a little more carefully, but he regrets the aftermath (such as killing Itachi. That was probably right up there at the top of his regrets).

Sakura's not damaged, per say. Damaged was Sasuke. He knew there were things he couldn't do without swirling into that same gorge of hysteria. But Sakura was simply hurting. It was fixable. She just needed to feel safe so that she could get rid of all of her rage and pain.

He feels kind of bad, analyzing Sakura's sanity so clinically while his own was hanging by a thread. But he had grown up so much since arriving back in Konoha, finding stability in himself instead of being manipulated by other people. He believes that these people, the ones that cared for him when he was at his lowest, deserve to find inner peace. And Sakura...Sakura was more than insanity. She was better than that.

It makes him happy to know that Itachi would be proud of him, knowing how he was managing to move on. He wasn't going to lie; he was pretty proud of himself too.

Nevertheless, he still had to deal with the situation at hand. Shoving his hair back, Sasuke promised he would help in any way possible.

whatchasay?

Sakura felt her body quiver and eyes sting. God, what was she doing? Her stomach lurches and she finds herself vomiting into the sopping grass.

She's not even sure what just happened. One minute she's got everything under control, improper subjects darting across her tongue in the confines of their cheap hotel room, the next Sasuke is looking at her like she means something. This is why she stopped reading into things; her mind was playing tricks on her, warping her sight to fit the fairytale ending she's been working so hard to stop wishing for.

And what exactly was he saying? If she thought about it...he wasn't wrong. But that opened up a whole other can of worms that would slowly corrode at her sanity.

Sighing, Sakura feels an unreasonable flash of fury spark through her veins. At what, though? Sasuke? Hadn't he just...done what she wanted? She wanted to talk, so he talked. True, it was full of rather abstract concepts but...she promised she wasn't going to think to far into it.

Herself?

It made sense. She hadn't been happy with herself in a long time, and suddenly Naruto and Sasuke didn't seem so foolish. She felt like a hypocrite. She couldn't even make sense of her own thoughts, her own feelings. How were Naruto and Sasuke supposed to understand? How was she supposed to understand how they were coping?

Maybe she would lay off them. She'd been harsh on their cases, and today was just...unfortunate. Maybe they weren't pretending, after all. Feeling her scalp tightening in warning of an upcoming headache, she promised herself she'd get off their cases.

But Sasuke had another idea.


	3. Chapter 3

AN: i accidentally made sasuke sound like an apathetic creeper. And sakura is having weird mood swings. And i switch perspectives when i get stuck. And naruto has like no personality here. Also, the new naruto movie is going to break my heart. It took me a while to figure it out, but after getting over the initial sasusaku i listened to what tobi was saying and it's really depressing. And they're going to make sakura look useless in canon because if her dad really was the hokage...then sakura had good genes. They should've been civilians.

whatchasay?

The room was quiet. That was her first clue. No chuckling or barking or signs of damage. She should have seen it coming before she opened the door. But her judgement was already impaired from her "breakthrough" and her wet hair was making her head pound, so she slipped her key pass into the knob and plummeted herself into chaos.

Or, the exact opposite.

It was quiet. The beds were made and the towels folded. It was spick and span, all clean and perfect. It was not them.

On the chair in the corner, where Sai once perched while making inappropriate remarks, sat Sasuke with his hands folded and his eyes serious.

It takes all of her willpower not to bolt out of there like a frightened deer. Their eyes meet and Sakura can't help but avert hers. It's those same cowardice feelings that used to come out often during their genin years.

Kakashi, Naruto and Sai were all vacant from the room. Sakura wonders how Sasuke managed it.

Sakura chooses to sit on the floor.

"I'm sorry."

Their conversations seem to have an odd alternating pattern; Sakura apologizes, Sasuke apologizes. It was like they're on the same page, yet at different lines. Sakura simply bites down on her urge to sigh.

"You've been acting weird since I came back."

"And how would you know? It's not like you were really there before."

"Sai told me."

Well. She doesn't want to kiss Sai anymore, at least.

"He's not really the most reputable source."

"I know. So I did my research."

Sakura snorts, and cradles her head in her hands.

"Careful, Sasuke-kun. People might start to think you care."

She hears the chair squeak in indication of weight change. She thinks (hopes) that maybe she managed to faze the (in)famous Uchiha into leaving. Or, she's pretty sure she wants him to leave.

But the next thing she knows he sits down cross-legged beside her, lowering his head to try and catch her eye. She decides that the floor has a really interesting zig zag pattern that only she could see, so she keeps her eyes glued to it. He settles for placing a hand on her shoulder.

Which, try as she might, Sakura can't help but curse herself for the way she tenses up.

He doesn't move, though. Maybe he's a masochist, Sakura muses. Maybe he's just like me and has a thing for this curious kind of torture.

"Why can't I care?"

whatchasay?

He won't say it doesn't hurt, the way she goes rigid under his touch. But it's not something he didn't expect. These things took time. He didn't expect them to suddenly have the perfect relationship.

Yet there's this ache in his heart that's vaguely familiar. He's used to the warm, full feeling around her but not this robust ache.

"Why can't I care?"

He tries to say it as soft as he can muster, but as delicate as his tone was, her reaction was still one of resentment.

"You can't just come back and start to care!"

Despite her angry disposition, she sounded small and desperate. She wrenched herself out of his hold and stood up. Sasuke was ready to get up and block the door, but Sakura simply started pacing.

"I mean, you go from absolutely ape-shit to a bloody psychologist in what? Six months? The war was complete and udder shit, and it changed all of us, but I refuse to believe you can do a 360 degree turn around in six months!"

Sasuke cocked his head, meeting Sakura's bewildered eyes. To an outsider, she was spiraling downwards but to him, someone who spent quite some time studying the young kunoichi, she was taking a step forward. One, she was meeting his eyes. Two, she was being...

A smile graced his lips, stopping Sakura's ranting.

"Annoying."

Sakura's brows furrowed in confusion, allowing Sasuke's smile to grow.

"Come sit down with me."

She still had a look that said areyoufuckinginsane, but nevertheless, she slowly takes her place next to Sasuke.

"Why can't I change?"

Her hesitation made him wonder if she was going to burst again.

"You can change. Of course you can change. There's no rule that says you can't-"

"-Sakura."

"-right. I'm really glad you've changed. And that you're trying. But..."

Her head lowers in shame, so Sasuke takes a risk. He places a hand on her shoulder, and revels in the warm jolt that jumps around his system when sinews beneath her skin don't tighten at his touch. She's so small, he muses, as he wraps his arm around both her shoulders. He can feel the bones prick dully at his skin.

"...it took me four years to get to this point. And looking back, I haven't come far at all. You went from stable to insane then up to fantastic in that same amount of time."

Sasuke nodded and proceeded to rub circles on her back. It was, technically, completely rational that a girl placed on the same team as a prodigy and a jinchuuriki would feel inferior. But it didn't stop Sasuke from feeling a little guilty. Sakura had always been quite innocent, and it was an unspoken rule that they would protect the lone female (even if, in the long run, it did the exact opposite of protect). All they were trying to do was help, and look how that turned out. Chalk it up to Team Sevens habit of screwing the simplest things up.

"I don't want to be that anymore. I was weak and pathetic and so stupid! Sasuke, we weren't even friends back then. We were never close. I just want to move on, but I can't move on. I'm not even sure what I'm moving on from."

Her trust in him made his heart flutter, and he let her lean her head back against his chest. Sure, he wasn't completely positive on how to interpret her words, but their whole conversation was mostly for her. Like the actions he took now, which were mostly for her.

"There's so much I don't know and I don't understand. I'm not even sure how I feel about that. So what do I do?"

She turns to face him, growing desperate. He clears his throat.

"Aa. We could start by being close."

He then decides its a good time to kiss her. He doesn't regret it.

whatchasay?

"Do you want to repeat that, Sai?"

"I'm sorry. Is your hearing giving out at your elderly age?"

"I'm younger than you!"

"Of course, Hag. You just age faster."

"Keep yapping and I'll punch you into the next century!"

"How is that relevant?"

"It's totally relevant! Age? century? Is your brain slowing down at your elderly age?"

"I already used that, Hag."

"Well you already called me-"

Naruto fought the urge to grin at their "banter".

"Hey Sasuke."

It wasn't perfection but Naruto loved it. In fact, he'd take it over perfection.

"Hn."

"How'd it go?"

"It went fine."

"You can't hurt her."

Shoot. He didn't mean to blurt that out. They really weren't perfect-

"I know."

Sasuke is his best friend. His brother. His _family._ He trust him with his life. So he trusts him with Sakura.

A grin, true and bright, rips across his face and he pats his brother on the back.

"We missed you."

Sasuke doesn't smile like Naruto, but the corners of his mouth flick up earnestly.

"I know."

-but hey. They're trying.

whatchasay?

AN: mmkay. This sucked. Reviews make me reeeally happy though.


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